As literally as we in the church take the apostle Paul, we have no problem skipping over Romans 16:16. Instead of the recommended kiss to greet one another, men of the church have developed the Guy Handshake-Hug Combo.
The GHHC says, “Friends don’t shake hands- friends hug…but not with both hands.”
Here’s some tips on properly employing the Guy Handshake- Hug.
Follow carefully:
1. As you approach the other individual, start the conversation.
2. Extend your right hand for the handshake. Use a firm grip.
3. Don’t let go of the handshake.
4. Extend your left hand around to the back of the person you’re greeting.
5. Slap high, near the shoulder blades- never low on the back or near the belt.
6. Turn your head to the left to avoid facial contact or the awkward moment when
you don’t know which side your head should go and onlookers think the two of
you might kiss.
7. Keep talking.
8. Slap three (3) times. Slap. Do not pat. Patting signals weakness. Slap.
The harder you slap, the manlier you are.
9. Each slap represents one word in the Evangelical Guy Code Book.
Three slaps during the GHHC says, “I’m…not…gay.”
10. Never, ever touch cheeks to another man.
11. Never, ever rest your head on the shoulder of another man.
12. Absolutely never, ever cry on another man’s shoulder.
Remember Ed Norton and Meat Loaf in” Fight Club”?
13. After the three slaps, wait a fraction of a second before pulling away.
Pulling away too quickly sends a similar vibe to patting the other person’s back.
14. Keep talking.
15. Pull back from the hug maneuver and establish proper distance for
talking face to face.
16. Let go of the handshake. Be careful to release the entire hand simultaneously.
Never let one finger linger longer than the others!
17. Keep talking.
18. The move is complete. Congrats on implementing a successful GHHC!
I ‘borrowed’ this from a friend’s page, Stanton Blaylock, the page is at:
http://liveopenly.tumblr.com/page/2
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